I've been doing A LOT of thinking these past few days. But it seems I've ended up confusing myself more instead of setting things straight. Maybe I realized that Medicine really isn't for me... I'm not that emotionally stable to be able to cope with situations that I will unavoidably run into as a doctor, nor will I be able to stand not being able to travel the world as I please as I would with more flexible jobs. I felt incredibly relieved when I learned that I didn't end up getting that scholarship I was waiting for, as that would be such a waste. Maybe I could try again next year for Modern Languages and see if I can get it. There's less competition for it there so I might be lucky.

( rant rant baw baw :( )

School's out~!

It came as a surprise to everyone because we were expected to come to class tomorrow and they told us pretty late into the day. As in...

Everyone: *lounging about in the classroom, doing nothing in particular*
Me: *on a picture snapping spree*
Coordinator: *taps on window* Put away the camera, miss. Everyone else, you don't have to come to school tomorrow. *leaves*
Everyone: ... What... Does this mean...
[bell rings]
Everyone: YAY!! *shuffles out*

A few seconds later, the classroom was pretty much this:

We didn't really say a decent "good-bye" to eachother, but I'll still be seeing them on Friday to see if we have to have an extra course for those who need a few extra points. I'm worried about Math and Chemistry the most, as I didn't really do much in the first one (even if I'm on the teacher's "good side") and I'm missing a grade in the latter, which can mess up my overall score. We also have our Graduation ceremony and prom party on December to see eachother again, so, yah... Someone will probably gather a meet-up sometime or the other too, but idk for sure. : |a

But aaaah! I'm glad that's over with, in a way. I'm sure I'll miss everyone, but I'm happy knowing I made the best out of the last bit of time I had with them. ♥ And even if I used to fear this day... I suppose we have to move on. (Or maybe I just haven't really processed the fact that we're out of classes and that's why I'm not bawwing my eyes out as I thought I would be?)

Now I can finally take some time for writing! o/ And finish some of the old fics I have lying around (... Prolly won't finish them anyways, aheh) and just... do nothing! And wait and see if I get that other scholarship next week. Then think about what I'll do with the free semester I'll be having (unless my dad decides to suddenly say no, and msdriñucgfdbhznjbz not gonna think about that), maybe get a part time job, or see what my aunt from Australia managed to figure out for me.

My future now scares me... and I wonder if med school was the right choice. Everyone, even the doctors in my family (which are a lot, btw), told me it was difficult and time consuming, but I said I'd be able to handle it. But it's now I'm having my doubts. And the thought of studying Photography, Art and/or Languages is... suddenly looking more appealing, (and they'd be much easier to afford, as Medicine is usually three times as expensive as any other career there is here) even if everyone would turn to me and say "It's a waste of my intelligence" (lolwut).



GOD BRAIN, Y U DO THIS RIGHT NOW?! :(

I love the request options I got so much!! :D I actually feel like writing two of them, just for the heck of it, and because the person I got is a writer I really like in the hetalia fandom. This also intimidates me quite a bit though... ;_; Not measuring up... and stuff. Doesn't help I'm not used to writing Sweden... or Denmark for that matter, but mostly Sweden. orz I'll probably need to look for a beta anyways, could use some feedback on characterization and grammar... especially grammar, (that very first sentence sounds so off orz). /pulls the 'English isn't my first language' card.

Already got the first part down... But I can't figure out how to transition into the next part, or how I'll put in details. >< Ugh... I hate having the main idea but not being able to elaborate on it.

/goes back to glaring at the Word document in hopes of getting some sort of inspiration by doing that.

I knew I should've kept on writing yesterday, when I was on a roll, but noooo... I just HAD to go to bed. >:[

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead. Short days ago
                    We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
                    Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
                    In Flanders fields.

                    Take up our quarrel with the foe:
                    To you from failing hands we throw
                    The torch; be yours to hold it high.
                    If ye break faith with us who die
                    We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
                    In Flanders fields.

So maybe we don't celebrate Remembrance Day in my country... I'm pretty sure most people here don't even know about it, but the poem just gives me goosebumps, and I end up reading it several times, over and over again until I just can't anymore. ;_; And then, I'll go read We Shall Keep the Faith, and just... smile at it. Heh...

I don't know what else to say, except I sort of feel like crying now. Haha. orz

/goes to bed

My dad signed me up for the AviancaPlus frequent flyer program when we went to Bogotá. The lady who signed me up told me I'd get an instant 3000 miles when I did. On our flight back, I was supposed to get about 500 more. My ticket said I didn't get any while my dad's did, we let it slide thinking it was just some printing mistake.

Anyhow, I decided to check their website today, and it turns out I don't even have the bonus they gave me for signing up. W-Where did my miles go?!

;_; I know 3000 isn't that much, but still they are 3000 less I could use for discounts or promotions they have for next year! I should've payed more attention earlier, I'm not sure if they'll fix a mistake if its been over a week, much less a petty one like this one. I'll ask dad to ask what happened, in case they do fix it.

My school's planning a fashion show this Saturday with some local designers...

I'm debating wether or not to join in since they're using students as the models, some moms are partaking in it as well, and I think some pros will be there too. I've always kinda secretly wanted to try it out (my mom thinks I hate it because I turned down an offer her friend made me a year ago) and my mind's been telling me to do the things I've wanted to do but I'm too shy for or I'll regret not doing it when I think back about it in the future.

:X Guh, I don't know...



Pointless post.

So I don't tend to watch those music contest type of shows past the (usually failtastic) auditions phase, but this time...




These guys are so cool! Specially Alejo, the short, white one who does most of the rapping parts. So adorable. x3 I've heard people say the reason they're so popular among the voters is because they sing songs that are or were big hits, well... It's a smart thing to do, isn't it? The only thing that makes me facepalm about them is the outfits they give them at times... or that one time they got lost for a second during a performance.

Judge: Heh, oh I understand why you got lost. /glances at the dancers

But these two are my favorite performances, they nailed them so hard.


... Ok, I should go to bed now.

But at last, vacations! No más school for the next ten days! /starts packing for the beach

Today we had representatives from several private universities in the country. I'm reconsidering my choices after this. The one I originally wanted to attend to is slightly cheaper than the one I have in mind now and the scholarship I'm applying for covers the whole cost. But I have to keep my scores over 4.0 (out of 5.0) throughout the next six years to maintain it, if I don't I have to finish paying med school for the remaining years.

So... $10.000.000 pesos x 12 semesters = $120.000.000 pesos = $60.000 dollars we really can't afford, no matter how optimistic my dad tries to be. :/

My new choice is more costly and its scholarships offer 80% coverage of the cost (90% for med school) but to maintain it I need to keep my score over 3.25, just like any other normal student, who can get suspended if they go any lower. I'm pretty sure I can keep that one (if I don't then wtf self?) and it would be much more accessible in that case, as it would be about $1.500/$2.000 dollars a year, and it wouldn't be as hard on dad, even if he keeps dropping hints about the first uni.

I guess I feel a bit mediocre for thinking about the less demanding one... but I also have to keep in mind how our financial situation is at the moment and am measuring the risks. Besides, the second one is a better known school in general and has had more recognition in several areas than the first.

I still have to discuss it with dad better... and I think I'll apply for both, just in case.


This is so annoying. |||orz

My grandma is going to give me the money for a new camera! DKHGDHGFZHGFA

I wasn't sure if I was going to get a new one before my graduation party since we have lots of things to pay for in the next couple of weeks like the school year, flight to Bogotá for Uni interviews, clothes for cold weather, graduation party, extra guest passes for said party, dresses for said party... That's gonna be one really expensive party now that I think about it...

The best thing is that I'll get it just in time for my trip to Santa Marta in October. Some of my classmates are taking a test in that city, and a part of the group decided to tag along and enjoy our week off at the beach. The only thing is that I'll be staying at the other side of town at my grandma's so I'll have to take a one-hour ride whenever I want to meet up with them, but I'm used to doing that whenever I go so, meh.

I went to check some cameras out this afternoon with my parents to have an idea of what I was going to buy... and I can't seem to decide on anything. I won't be able to afford my dream SLR camera though...

Store clerk: *talking with a customer about a Nikon SLR*
Me: *drooling at it from afar* Dad, could we at least ask for the price?
Dad: ... Fine. *sighs and walks up to the clerk* Excuse me, how much do those cameras cost? :D
Store clerk: About $999.00-
Dad: Thank you. :D

We saw a nice Samsung one though for a good price, but I didn't have the chance to try it out. On another store, we tried out a Canon Powershot A480 and a Panasonic Lumix FS4. I liked the Canon best but the reviews I've read online weren't as good as the Lumix one, which I don't really understand as the pictures I took when with the Canon one were better. I did like Lumix's design the most, except that it was a bit too thin for my taste (I like bigger, bulkier cameras for some reason) but I guess that, in the end, it's picture quality over camera design that counts. Still, I'm going to buy it when I go to Santa Marta so I have a week and a half to educate myself some more and decide.

/stops fantarding over unbought cameras

Well... I got that test over with. I'm pretty sure I messed up in the physics part. *sigh* I knew I had a reason to be worried. I kept telling dad this test was harder than the first one, but he said "It's not, or else it wouldn't be fair for the students doing it this time."

Well dad, maybe it isn't fair for these students. Because this test was a bitch. Except for Chemistry, Bio and English, I really can't say if my scores will be good or bad.

You'd think our teachers would cut us some slack after the test, well... lol, they did the exact opposite. Most people will be doing their uni errands during most of October so they're rushing activities and tests to have our scores settled before that happens. I really don't want to screw up my year's scores this last... idk, two weeks? But argh, my mind's so saturated right now to function properly and I'll probably lower them a bit.

Also, I wrote a letter to mom and dad today. I've never done it before. Err, and it wasn't a really sweet letter per se... It was more like: "I've been keeping some things for myself for a while, but I can't stand it anymore. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings but I need to get this off my shoulders." It has 1289 words. Yes, I was inspired. Now I'm scared to go downstairs in case mom decides to confront me about it (which I really don't feel like doing right now)... which wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that I haven't had dinner yet, my last meal was ten hours ago and my stomach is trying to eat itself.


On another note, for the first time this year I slept a full ten hours. I woke up feeling... happy. Is this what a good night's sleep feels like?

Apparently, I got the highest score in my grade on our mock test again. :D Haha, I've owned them all! o/ I hope I do as well on our state exams next Sunday, I don't know wether to be nervous or... I don't know how to feel, actually...

I wasn't really concerned about my score when I did the one in April, and I still got into the top 100 scores of the country... But the one I'm doing now brings more privileges along with it (including prize money my school gives for the highest score) so if I mess up, well... I could still use the first one, but it won't be as good.

It doesn't help that my teachers have been stalking me and pressuring me into review all the past years' tests in case old questions show up again. I know they do it for my own good, but geez... And my spanish teacher actually got mad at me because in my last test, I didn't score as high in Spanish as I did in English. Spanish, along with Math, is the hardest test, the english one is pretty retarded in comparison. And hell... the test lasts about eight hours, there's supposed to be some mental exhaustion at some point! *grumbles*

I'm also worried about my best friend's score too... he's been pretty much breathing down my neck in all the past mock tests. I scored 80 in this one, he scored 79... And last one's was 79,56 to 79,04...

*sigh* Whatever... I guess I'll just have to switch my brain back from party mode to study mode this next week during the test to crank it up into gear.


And get more sleep. Yah, that could work.

A hundred and ninety years ago today, we were finally recognized as an independent nation from Spain. o7 We had our problems at first, and we still have some, but I have faith that we'll get over them. One of our writers once said it had taken Europe hundreds of years and uncountable wars to be what it is now and every country had their pace in development. I just hope mine doesn't have to go through any more fights to achieve it. :P

... I'm not eloquent enough to write something decent about it. orz (I have an essay I wrote but it's too TL;DR and translating it would be a nightmare, haha...)

People here don't make huge celebrations of these days, I don't know why... I guess it's more like silent tribute. We hang our flag outside for the day... and that's pretty much it. But when we were taking a friend back home today, his family had put it really high over his house. It looked pretty damn majestic, dramatic waving and everything. :'D As one of my friends said: "We just need the anthem to start playing."

I'll just leave this video that was made a few years ago. I get goosebumps whenever I watch it.



( Here's a little rough translation of the first part. )

... lol

I just love these type of auditions.

Just a little bit more for it to start! Aah, I wish I were in China or India or any of the countries that will be able to see it~

The last total solar eclipse I saw was when I was 8, the 1999 one. I remember everyone in my town would huddle up around their houses with the special glasses or the special boxes with tin foil we made at school. XD They let us go home early that day. Everyone took the glasses off at the very last minute for it. I'm pretty sure it was dangerous to watch it unprotected at that point, but no one really cared at the moment, they were all too busy gawking at the sky and muttering about how beautiful it was to really care.

Man, I've been fascinated with them ever since. *sigh*

The last eclipse we had here was partial. And... no one noticed it. :|

I'll try and watch it via live streaming or something, not sure if the local news channels will follow it. :X Or I'll just watch the youtube videos later on and sulk at not being able to be there.

www.live-eclipse.org/
Apparently, this will be one of the websites providing the streams.

The temperature's starting to spike again. orz That's what I get for complaining about it being too cool.

I went to get my flu shot this morning with one of my aunts and a cousin. It didn't hurt when I got it, the needle was small... but now it feels like someone punched my arm. The worst part of it all was waiting, though. There was a lady with her baby beside us.

The kid had some damn good lungs.

But, it was all good in the end because we went for some ice-cream after that! YAY! (I'm such a kid at times.)


Oh, and my mom's coming here in a few hours. She's bringing our laptop along with her, so I'll see if I can get some writing or coloring done. I'm not sure if the neighbours here have some Wi-Fi connection I can leech on though... the one here isn't wireless. Meh.

She's also bringing along the letter from the university! I can't wait to read what it says, dad was really vague when he told me I had got it.

Well... our beach trip ended up being called off, thanks to the rain. I wouldn't be so annoyed if it hadn't started pouring only ten minutes before we reached the boat place. Someone suggested we go anyways and wait until it stopped when we reached the beach, but the guy that owned/drived the speedboat said it was too dangerous, and picking us up again later would be even riskier.

:/ Now everyone's bummed out about it. *sigh* I hate how the weather can be so unpredictable here, but, on the good side, it would've been worse if it had started after we had arrived at the beach and had no one to come for us in the afternoon.

I got a call from my dad yesterday  night. Apparently I got a letter in the mail from the university I had applied to (the one I had to cancel the interview with -_-") and they gave me another chance to go on September, when they opened up their applications again. \o/ FFFFFFFFFF The fact that they were the ones who contacted me this time gives me a lot of hope!

But I'll try to calm down now... It seems that whenever I get excited about anything, something has to happen to ruin it. :X

I'm at my grandma's place now, arrived yesterday but was too tired to write anything. :P The trip was uneventful anyways, slept through most of it... mostly due to the fact that I hadn't slept at for about 36 hours before going to the bus station. (Thank you anon meme for altering my sleeping patterns beyond repair.) I saw a group of tourists on the station when I arrived... from the Netherlands I think. HOLY CRAP, THEY WERE ALL SO TALL! /feels short

Haven't really done anything though... went to the local mall for a while. We're planning on going to this beach on Saturday though, it's further away than most of the popular beaches here, they don't even have restaurants near it, but I heard my aunt saying it was really pretty! I don't get why the most beautiful beaches here are the least visited... But they'd get really dirty if there were too many people... probably the reason why they're nice in the first place. :P


On another note... Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died today. I thought Farrah was beautiful and even if I was never a huge fan of MJ, it kinda saddens me that they passed away. :/ (And I'm also creeped out that they died the same day... Why? I don't know, really... it just bothers me.)

AHAHA, Seems I might get to go to the beach after all!!


An aunt of mine that had moved to Australia came back this year for a few months with her baby, and she called mom this morning to ask her if she could at least send me there and that she'd pay for my tickets and everything. I kinda wanted my whole family to come but oh well... It's not the first time I spend my summer without them. Mom said they might go for a few days after I leave, but she's not 100% sure.

Won't be able to take my laptop with me though, baw. I'm gonna miss hanging around the anon meme and pixiv for hours. ;_; Argh, and my fics... Dammit. Though I don't think I'd have time to get to them while I was there anyways.

But I think I should be more worried about packing, catching up on homework and fixing my sleeping pattern right now instead. XD No, really... It's currently 8:25AM and I haven't gotten to bed.

So uhh... Good night! Or... morning... or... yah, I'll shut up and go to bed now. :|